Dear listeners, interdimensional correspondents, and those wondering how one transitions from “unconscious raid failure” to “government minister,”
Oliver here with an update from “The Other Side of the Raid” that’s been three months in the making. When we last checked in with Aria Evergreen, she’d just survived an impossible three-day solo raid, discovered her cat was an interdimensional aristocrat, and been conscripted as Earth’s liaison to the Galactic Magic Federation. That was approximately twelve weeks ago in her timeline.
Things have... escalated.
The Setup
Aria is now both:
Minister for Dungeon Collaboration in the UK government
Baroness of Greenwich (life peerage, House of Lords)
Diplomatic liaison to alien reality TV producers
Student to a Victorian Minotaur and a pixie professor
She also maintains a professional relationship with a feline organized crime network. As one does.
Our correspondent Felicity Westfield caught up with her in a London café to discuss how one manages this level of absurdity while maintaining the fiction that dungeons are “mysterious Earth phenomena.”
Spoiler: It’s exhausting.
🎧 Listen Now
Runtime: 19 minutes
Classification: GMF Exclusive
Warning: Contains discussions of interdimensional blackmail, salt smuggling, and the proper etiquette for avoiding decapitation
The Three-Month Journey
What you’ll discover in this episode:
🏛️ The Political Climb - How yarn-related blackmail and a magical pendant got Aria from “unconscious Explorer” to Cabinet minister in one week (the Baroness title took the full three months of background checks)
🤯 Compartmentalization Chaos - Sitting in parliamentary meetings discussing “mysterious magical phenomena” while knowing they’re alien entertainment systems. Making policy about dungeons while pretending not to know the boss on floor three respawns every 24 hours. The mental gymnastics are Olympic-level.
🥋 Victorian Combat Training - Every morning at dawn, Trevor materializes to teach proper defensive stance while maintaining impeccable deportment. “One must maintain proper posture even whilst avoiding decapitation.” Three months of this has made Aria genuinely competent. And very tired.
✨ Creation Magic Lessons - Professor Rosepetal’s afternoon sessions where Aria learns to create matter that doesn’t dissolve after thirty seconds. Last week’s mistake: a teacup existing in two dimensions simultaneously. Professor’s response: a lecture about the Third Crystalline Convergence of Andromeda.
🐱 The Feline Intelligence Network - Remember Boss Kryxar (Mr. Whiskers)? His organization now includes strategic cat placement in government offices. Aria’s colleague Dave got a “mysteriously compelling” grey tabby that “coincidentally” messages Aria on behalf of the boss. Dave thinks his cat is just very vocal.
📊 The Cognitive Whiplash - Morning: learning dimensional magic. Afternoon: perfecting reality manipulation. Evening: pretending to know nothing about any of this while debating Explorer insurance policies in Parliament.
The Interview Highlights
Felicity, who already knows about the GMF world from her own double life, asks the questions we’re all thinking: How do you process this? What happens when people notice patterns? Do you miss your old life?
Aria’s answer to that last one is surprisingly thoughtful. Despite the absurdity, the stress, and the constant fear of accidentally destroying international relations, she’s doing meaningful work. Even if she can’t tell anyone how or why.
Also, she’s met a Victorian Minotaur, a pixie professor, several criminal cats, and the Chief Mouser to Parliament. Her life is objectively insane, but never boring.
The Blooper Segment
Oh, this one’s special.
What starts as a simple tail-related tea spill escalates into:
Aria sharing a story about her colleague’s cat delivering messages from organized crime (while the colleague hears only adorable mewing)
Vaeloria opening an unauthorized portal mid-interview to critique Felicity’s beret
Multiple references to Trevor and Professor’s training feedback
The ongoing saga of Vaeloria’s hat obsession (context: Episode 12’s elaborate gift situation)
Complete loss of interview control
Felicity’s resigned sigh of “Your tail again?” sets the tone perfectly. This is their life now. Interdimensional chaos is just... Tuesday.
Three Months In
What strikes me about this interview is how much Aria has grown. Three months ago, she was processing the revelation that reality is alien entertainment. Now she’s casually mentioning that her colleague’s cat is part of a crime network, discussing dimensional magic lessons, and making jokes about smelling like “crystallized possibility” after training.
She’s adapting. Possibly too well.
The compartmentalization required to sit in Parliament discussing dungeon policy while knowing they’re discussing alien TV shows? That’s its own kind of superpower. And the fact that she’s still concerned about making the right calls, about not being the reason Earth fails its GMF evaluation?
That’s why she was chosen.
Technical Notes
This broadcast was facilitated by BBN’s proprietary narrative AI technology, allowing clear translation across dimensional frequencies. The system successfully managed simultaneous translation during Vaeloria’s surprise portal appearance, which I’m told is technically impressive even if it wasn’t requested.
Signal strength was briefly disrupted by what the equipment registered as “enthusiastic hat commentary interference.” This is apparently a recurring issue with our correspondent’s biggest fan.
Remember to keep your frequencies clear, your compartmentalization skills sharp, and your cats under close observation. They’re probably reporting to someone.
—Oliver
Lead Producer, BBN
Transmitted from the narrative spectrum
P.S. - The equipment is still recovering from registering “spontaneous appreciation can’t be scheduled” as a legitimate excuse for portal-based interruptions. I may need to update the error message database. Again.
P.P.S. - If your government colleague suddenly acquires a “mysteriously compelling” cat and forgets their elaborate theories about aliens, you might want to check if it’s part of an interdimensional intelligence network. Just a thought.
BBN utilizes advanced AI narrative enhancement systems to translate experiences across dimensional boundaries. This allows us to bring you clear, compelling stories from frequencies that would otherwise remain inaccessible. Though it doesn’t help when Vaeloria opens portals without permission.
Classification: GMF Exclusive Content
Recommended for: Those who enjoy bureaucratic absurdity, Victorian etiquette lessons, and the casual militarization of household pets
